In the Alien Base
by Cocomon
Summary: Bumblebee finally manages to get his team to relax for a fun family night at their base- no decepticons, no hero work and no cleaning up the city. So what do they do? Play Halo, of course! Part Crack, Part stupid, all fun.


KK, so this just started from an idea my friend and I had. We were like "I wonder what it would be like if the characters from (insert any cartoon/anime you want) were playing Halo together?" Straight after that rabid plot bunnies mercilessly attacked me and forced me to write this.  
It was also mostly inspried by those awsome family nights I often have with my family and friends when there's a big group of us bunched around the TV screaming our lungs out and yelling crazily as we play something like Halo or our ancient Nintendo 64 (still works! I love that old thing to death!). C'mon. Don't ya just love those kind of moments?  
So disclaimer, blah, blah, blah, DON'T OWN IT, yadda yadda, let's get into the story!

WHOOPS, gotta explain something first. I first intended this to be one of those surprise ones, like you don't know they're actually playing Halo until the end, and you're like 'Ooooooooh! I get it now!' but I got my sis to read it, and she bummed out halfway through cause she didn't know what was going on. So, let's get this straight: the Autobots are in their base PLAYING HALO. Got it? But it will be TOLD like they are actually in the game to give it... uhh... a more exotic/cooler feeling or funner fic? I dunno. I just wanted to write it that way, so blah!

* * *

Optimus ran around this deserted alien base he was stuck in helplessly. He had no idea where he was and where he was going. All he knew was that _they _were out there. Hunting him and trying to kill him. Optimus didn't even know why he was here. He didn't have time for this!

He turned a corner in this confusing maze of grey walls twisting and turning and observed the new room. It was huge, and a number of alien vehicles were stationed in it, with overhanging gangways and multiple exits and entrances. At the top you could see it actually had no roof; it just stacked up so high and with all the cable wires and gangways it looked like it had one. Optimus cursed. How _big _was this place?! He suddenly paused as he ran past a row of exceptionally mean looking cars and tanks.

Optimus could use one of those… theywouldn't be able to catch him in one of these. And Optimus could get the heck out of here! At least to some open ground, where he wouldn't be such as easy target. He was sure everyone elseknew their way around this place. At least, much more than he did. And there was no stopping _him _when he wanted to kill!

Grinning at his smart plan he quickly ran up the rows of alien vehicles and stopped at a huge tank. It was a murky brown in colour and had tough armour all over it, covered in dents and scratches from years of heavy battle. This would do nicely.

Optimus suddenly ran into another problem as he walked around the tank. 'How do I get in?' He mumbled to himself. He looked it over again, and tried jumping onto it. 'Obviously not,' He sighed as he slipped straight off the other side. He tried pushing against it, but that did nothing as well. Optimus started to panic slightly as the sound of gunfire reached his ears from the echo of the corridors.

He jumped on it, finally finding the hatch button and jumping in. 'Good work!' He congratulated himself. 'Now… how do I start this thing?'

* * *

At the other side of the abandoned alien base Prowl stealthy crept along the perimeter of it and stationed himself against the wall, holding his gun to his chest. He gritted his teeth when he noticed shadowed hiding places were running thin. He peered around the corner. He was stuck behind a large rock and a couple of ferns that overlooked the large metal structure of the base and vehicle hangar. Behind him was the beach and in front was Nothing in sight. If he could just get to that alien base and find any of the others he could create a temporally alliance with someone else and take down _him_. First he had to get to safety.

Taking a deep breath he boldly dashed into the open and attempted to do a roll but failed majorly when he forgot how and accidently jumped. Due the gravity levels on the planet, Prowl slowly glided through the air before landing lightly behind a huge generator that was protruding from the ground.

'Not what I expected, but it still works. I just hope nobody saw me.'

Prowl jumped a mile in the air, accidently hitting the trigger and shooting the bush next to him- effectively reducing any stealth elements he had left- when he heard shooting and an angry voice. He quickly composed himself and carefully glanced around the generator, his gun at the ready. Prowl heaved a sigh of relief when he saw it was just Ratchet. Apparently testing his gun.

'Damn slaggin' interfacers!! How do I get this thing to work?!' Prowl slowly walked up to Ratchet and watched in amusement as Ratchet continually fiddled with his shotgun, pressing countless buttons, his head lowered as he concentrated.

'Ratchet.'

'Huh? Whassat?!' Ratchet's head shot up. That is, a little too far. His helmeted face looked up quickly it didn't stop until he was staring straight up- giving Ratchet a very limited view of the sky. 'Slag!' He roughly cursed as he tired to level out his visor but ended up turning completely around a couple of times before coming to a stop. Unfortunately, he was facing the opposite direction. 'Hey! Where'd that slagger go?'

Torn between sighing in annoyance and smiling in amusement, Prowl walked in front of Ratchet and faced him.

'Got ya!' Ratchet seemed to have finally located the shooting trigger, as his gun erupted and Prowl dashed quickly to the side to avoid the sudden barrage of bullets coming his way. Ratchet once again turned, attempting to find Prowl when he disappeared and ended up turning in rapid circles, his head wheeling around continually and gun going the whole time.

Prowl just stood there, his eyebrow raised. This would be an easy kill! Now, where was that stupid trigger button?

His thoughts were cancelled when a giant tank appeared out of no-where and Ratchet didn't move in time. Prowl wasn't sure you could run over someone in this game, but he was surprised when Ratchet was sent flying through the air. He followed Ratchet as he hit the ground and rolled, his limbs splayed awkwardly.

_

* * *

_

Megagrump killed by Bossbot

_Respawning 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…_

* * *

'Sorry, Ratchet! I… haven't quite got the hang of this thing yet!' Optimus shouted guiltily as he exited the cockpit of the tank. Prowl couldn't help but smile. 'That's putting it mildly.' He said, readying his gun, before jamming his finger into the shooting mode.

'Prowl! Why are you shooting at me?!' Optimus spent 10 precious seconds trying to get in the tank before remembering the button. He jumped back in the tank and attempted to back up, panicing with the controls. Prowl followed him, shooting wildly and having no idea it he was hitting Optimus or not. 'It is the aim of the game, is it not?' Prowl asked smugly, but a little testily- how did you aim this damn thing?!

'We're on the same team!' Optimus weakly offered from the inside of the slowly backing up tank.

'So was Ratchet,' Prowl countered, motioning to the body of their friend lying in a very awkward position meters away.

Ratchet suddenly ran out of the hangar, completely alive and shooting again, his finger jammed on the button. 'It's Okay! I'm back!' Ratchet shouted. 'Prowl, now lets kill that fragger together---'

_Balm!_

Ratchet, once again, fell on the battlefield, his helmet exploding from the sniper bullet it took before he hit the ground in a splash of brains and muck. '_Damn little fragger of a decepticon!'_ His dead corpse roared in anger.

_

* * *

_

Megagrump killed by Yellowflash

_Respawing 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…._

* * *

Prowl and Optimus whirled around and caught sight of familiar yellow armour that darted though the underbrush and headed towards them. 'Prowl! Take him down! I'll use the tank!'

Prowl started shooting without hesitation, but the enemy running towards them evaded every shot, zigzagging though the gunfire. A deafening _BOOM!_ Split the air as Optimus finally managed to shoot the tank, although he overshot it by _just _a couple of kilometres.

Bumblebee ran towards Prowl, shooting his gun, and Prowl charged as well. They ran until they were almost touching, both shooting the whole time, before Bumblebee pushed his elbow upwards and smashed it into Prowls face. Prowl went flying. He hit the ground, unmoving.

_

* * *

_

Naturelova killed by Yellowflash

_Respawing in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…._

* * *

'Ha, Bumblebee! I'm in a tank. What are you going to do?' Optimus said, allowing himself a rare victory grin.

Bumblebee tilted his head, then grinned. He ran forward, jumped onto the tank, dropped something onto it, then jumped off and bolted. 'What the---?!' Optimus shouted as the object on his tank beeped. His eye's widened in shocking realization and he fumbled with his controller, pressing every button his could, attempting to get out. 'Oh fr----'

_BOOOOOOMMM!!!!_

_

* * *

_

Bossbot killed by Yellowflash

_End Game. _

_Scores:_

_Yellowflash: 25_

_Naturelova: 11_

_Bossbot: 5_

_Megagrump: 0_

* * *

'_Ya-hoooo_!!' Bumblebee shrieked at the T.V. 'Take that everyone! I am the Halo champion of all time!' He jumped up from Optimus's lap and clambered onto Bulkhead's shoulders- the highest point in the room at the time- and proceeded to whoop in victory, clasping his servos together and grinning so wide Optimus thought his faceplate would crack if he didn't stop.

'I could have done better easy,' Sari sniffed in annoyance from her couch next to her friend's giant counterpart. It had been long since decided Sari would get her own couch and sit in it when there was more than one Autobot sitting in the big one. That was the main rule Optimus had enforced in the base. Ever since the 'Bulkhead incident,' that is.

Ratchet dropped the especially enlarged X-Box 2000 controller Sumdac industries had provided for them in disgust and growled, 'I don't know why I got dragged into this slagged-up human piece of malfunctions. The darn thing won't even let you shoot properly! And why the frag do you need two sticks just to see and move?'

'That's how it's supposed to be, Ratchet!' Bumblebee called from Bulkhead's shoulder. 'You use one to look and the other to move the master Chief!' He held his two servos out and twiddled his thumbs in imitation.

'Well, it's fraggin' stupid, if yer ask me,' he grunted, leaning back and chucking his controller to Bulkhead.

'Is not!' Bumblebee retorted. 'Just because you can't get the hang of it, and got killed, like 25 times! It's a skill. You need a lot of _focus_,' he proudly exclaimed, slowly backing off Bulkhead's shoulder, failing and slipping. Bulkhead managed to catch him before he fell off the couch and squashed Sari.

Ratchet narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. 'Next time you drag your half-dead garbage can into my med-bay we'll see just how much I can focus. Maybe I'll be _so bad_ at focusing you'll walk out of there with a hod pink paintjob and a chassis that even Megatron would drool at.'

Bumblebee paled while Sari giggled and Bulkhead smothered his deep laughter with his hand. 'You wouldn't!'

'I _would_. So don't talk cheek with me, youngling!'

During the other bots' lively conversation, Prowl turned to Optimus with a small smirk on his face.

'Hand them over, Optimus.' He held out his hand, smiling smugly.

Optimus sighed, but unwillingly surrendered a barrel of axle grease to Prowl's waiting hand. At Optimus's disgruntled look, Prowl said, 'At least you didn't bet with Bumblebee. You would have lost your whole stock to him.'

Optimus smiled. 'True. But you're more likely to lose. That barrel you just won off me; I bet I can get it back within the next game. I know how to work the tank now,' Optimus proudly stated, challenging Prowl.

'You're on,' Prowl grinned as he grabbed his controller.

* * *

The brown/grey tank Optimus mastered? That's my baby. I kick ass with my widdle scorpian tank. (in a gross baby voice) Yes I do, yes I do! ...hehehe... seriously! I rock at the scorpian. But without it, I piont blank suck. I do what Ratchet does: I struggle with the two different sticks, and when someone starts shooting at me I PANIC, usually ending up running in circles, my head/vision spinning around stupidly and crazily so I see NOTHING, with my finger jammed on the shooting button. Sound familiar? C'mon, I KNOW it happens to HEAPS of people. Fess' up!  
This was heaps of fun to do and one day I'll try my hand at a Naruto one, or even a Bleach one. Until then, good-bye!!


End file.
